wandering star...

Me?
I cry I shout I yell silent screams
I hate I despise I reject I deny
I fall I die I pretend
I see I hear I choose I rise
I live I detest I fear I kill
I bend I break I move I ache
I sing I play I grow I crave
I feel I dance I fool I can’t
I laugh I choke I eat I dope
I want I need I hope I plead
I beg I steal I borrow I heal
I bleed I scar I cut I bar
I fit I shoot I find I loot
I drown I crawl I creep I bawl
I fly I run I hide I shun
I grope I stand I sleep I damn
I do I don’t I will I won’t
I can I know I fight I show
I jump I sigh I swear I lie
I scare I pray I sin I slay
I dream I drive I work I strive
I love I fake I watch I make

I am on my way to nowhere, now-here, belong here, there, everywhere, hate comes easy, as easy as hurt…thus hate, can’t begin to describe or explain how I feel, how I pain, believe them when they say but they lie, they…they are insensitive …they leave, they judge if they stay…
…They steal, they fight, they rule, they hide
They pretend, they care, they befriend, they dare!
They drive insanity higher and higher till I give up give in
I never lose I’ve lost so much
I cared for with love and such
I think I’ll go where I’m with me
Be alone, lonely as can be
Give up this life for a higher one
Believe when I say I have had it all, all, all of all, every bit of all, every single piece…
Peace? No peace...only chaos, only mystery, only darkness, only hurt, only anguish, only betrayal, only denial, only me, only sin, only, alone, lonely and if not, then I’m in it all, only death- the end, the beginning of the end…I’ve come to terms with life, the dark bitch, she laughs a, she mocks at my despair but I will not let her, will have the final word…
…I’m lost…